A Random Stalker. Poem by kirilee S..

A pest annoyed me today,
He emailed me night and day,
He asked if I were single,
and asked, how do you do?

He asked all kinds of questions,
wanted all the details,
of my very private life,
insisted that I tell him,

Age, sex and location,
he insisted that I share,
along with exact sizes,
of my bras and underwear,

I politely said no,
refused all his requests,
I told him very sternly,
Stop this, stop being a nuisanceice,

he kept on poppin up,
he asked if I were wed,
by then I was quite annoyed,
by all the things he'd said,

I asked him which part of NO,
he didn't understand,
I told him I was 85,
and wore 6 wedding bands,

but all my husbands now were gone,
and I had all their money,
you want to know about,
their accidents now, honey?

I told him I farted when I walk,
the hair's gone from my head,
I keep my teeth in a jar,
at night I wet the bed,

Sometimes I wander nude down the street,
till somebody brings me home to sleep,
you wanna get together,
so I won't be all alone?

Suddenly the emails stopped
so I wrote him an email instead,
a little sign then popped up
that said he was offline,

I giggled and I guffawed,
I chuckled and I laughed,
I doubt it seriously,
if my stalker will come back!