A Search Into Futility Poem by Joey Wade

I search everyday for you in the consciousness of my being,
it ends up short in the hollow steeped into my embrace,
in the emptiness dwelling deep inside me...
I search to cool the stinging flames dying embers,
brief though our acquaintance be,
how I lost you is still an eternal mystery....

Strangers briefly embraced in life's undying chambers,
driven apart by their own inner choices,
I sought you everyday, words failed at the sight of thee,
the reason i could not speak was often your vision within me,
filling me with shame at my mediocrity,
you would not be happy with me taunted all my broken dreams,
I believed those jaded dreams, for I always looked when you did not see....
Constant trespasses into the boundary beyond my insecurity,
you were a daydream and tats what everybody convinced me to be,
Longing with enchanted magic, separated by a crushed inner rhetoric

I've seen your smile, your laugh and your silent dreams,
though i looked from afar, and averted my eyes in close distance,
it was because i trembled in sinister density... your perfection brought nerve symptoms,
with incoherence and jumbled verbs that served a sentence.
It did hurt rather strangely to see you with a guy other than me,
but maybe he deserved you more than me...
For all i've got are dreams, dreams and dreams baby... And then we departed,
as strangers from the day we met, a meeting of cold distance.

I remember rather vividly in the vault of my cherished memories,
i was in the shackles of a former life of inner tension,
and suddenly in the midst of all those strangers whose faces matched their status,
right there in the midst of chennai central, I saw you after eternal oblivion,
that moment suspends before in an easel of mental sketches,
a moment for all of history, when a prodigal memory returned to its axis,
there in that sinful capture, I saw all that mattered,
a flash of crimson whoozing through all of my tension,
a burst of innocence flocked my upper comprehension,
stumbled again did I into reckless infinite power,
rising out of the shackles and their sadness.

A brief moment did our eyes connect, a vibration at my inmost recess,
a moment fraught with significance, I wasted it with my incoherence,
there was something in your eyes that begged for a fleeting moment a glimmer,
it was extinguished with gusto in light of present innuendo,
I lost you for the second time that day, a loss that has stretched into a unfilled shed empty of hay,
A thousand maybe's have since sold me their propaganda,
I engage in them to grieve in cold logic our eternal separation,
for in a sea of stolen memories, you were once a brook flowing into my unsuspecting canaan