A Story Poem by Mallika Achuthan Menon

A Story



Each moment of mine had savoured merrily
When I myself got absorbed in solitude.
At once I was taken aback by
a whimpering sound from nearby feebly.

There in the mud, she was lying
A wilted rose, the flower of love
A tiny dew drop sparkled on her petal
Or was it her teardrop, I doubted.
The pain was worded that I could read
In her tear flooded eyes ambiguously.
A faint smile popped up in her lips
while unfolding her own story in whispers.
I heard her deploring dictum patiently
A life story of a withered floret!

When she bloomed fully once
All her bright and soft petals
bloomed and bounced all together.
At times danced with sun and breeze
and felt like muslin while touching.

The passing beetle just passed a comment
That all the worldly beauty got
personified itself in her.
Her tender body at once horripilated
as a response to the statement!
Right away that prompted her
to look at herself once again.
With pride and joy she proclaimed that
the universal symbol of beauty
'Indeed, the rose, she herself'!


The wind was roving here and there
By humming so many sweet melodies
to cheer up the rose as he loved her much.
Through a charming smile of rose
The love was reciprocated well
A simple consent nod of her
Was just enough for his joy.
The wind had blamed those people
Who had grumbled now and then
About the thorns of pretty rose.
Instead he said thorns had rose
For that he felt more thankful.

Butterfly her chum had paid a visit
To have a wonderful chat with rose
A soft and silky flower of bed
was set there neatly ready to use.
Butterfly sat there with comfort
but took care for not giving pain or prick.
The host had gladly entertained her guest,
And offered a sumptuous feast of nector.
Their chit chatting had lasted for a while
Until they waved a silent goodbye.
While she was departing sadly
The butterfly didn't forget to
smear herself with rose pollen
as a keepsake for their love.

Fun and frolic continued
while playing with her playmates and friends
Along the sunrise and nightfall
Days were passing unnoticed.
Growing, blooming just got over
Within the specified course of time.
The last and final state of her life
Was withering, which was inevitable!
She had accepted her fate
As it was prescheduled long back.
The denounement in her life story
Thus reached an end I surmised in mind.!
.....: ..............................................

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Sekharan Pookkat 28 May 2014

the butterfly did not forget the petals of its primordial rose

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Ravi A 13 June 2014

You have chosen a very good theme and presented well in a certain poetic fashion. The opening verses reminded me of Kumaran Asan's famous poem but as I went on, the poem revealed yet other planes of life. I was slowly pushed to the life of a woman on the read street. Yes, you have said it in a guising tone. This kind of preentation is also very effective to reveal the horrors of real life. You can still chisel out your poem on re-reading. Self editing method is the best editing method. No outsider can really point it out. I may add one or two points: - At once I was taken aback...feebly. Feeble is an adjective here qualifying the sound and so the present construction bites me somewhere. You may think. Again, 'the pain was worded...ambiguously. Though the construction conveys the meaning, 'read ambiguously' can go toghether. The inbetween words somewhat rob off the impact. Again, I leave it to your judgment. My view is that adjectives should preceed the nouns being qualified and not stand apart from each other. You may review the situation. Thanks. Definitely speaking, you have got a future with your blessed pen.

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Dinesan Madathil 30 May 2014

Poetry of the first class kind is here. A poem that can boast of a classic touch and romantic flavour is penned down by you.. A FINE WRITE indeed Ms Mallika.

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Wonder why causes tears to almost flood my eyes..the truth hurts more than anything some times

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Sekharan Pookkat 28 May 2014

story of primordial rose - I like it

0 0 Reply
Sekharan Pookkat 28 May 2014

The butterfly did n forget its primordial rose

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