Toheeb Tiamiyu

Rookie - 55 Points (Lagos state, Nigeria)

A Thunderstorm - Poem by Toheeb Tiamiyu

Whirling from the west,
Madly running without rest,
Sharply, all vests abreast.
Windvanes runs out to the test,
The wind is truly from the west.

As the wind sweeps along the paths,
Like a king trees bow as he pass.
Is this arrival not a world class?
Every lass the mighty tree has,
Falls as the wind proves his class.

The pregnant cloud takes her form,
Saying the pregnant cloud is set to born,
Once again a very mighty storm.
All white and yellow to black they turn.
Thence comes that heavy thunderstorm.

Darting in and out, madly.
Traders praying, 'Rain go away, ' sadly,
Children, out with their pants, happily,
Dancing, singing, 'Rain, rain fall heavily'
As the rain pours down madly.


Poet's Notes about The Poem

The poem gives us a picture of a storm....the activities of things related to a storm..... 'Lass' in line 8 means leaves.... Line 14 and 15 tells of d change in colour of d atmosphere.....

Comments about A Thunderstorm by Toheeb Tiamiyu

  • Veteran Poet - 1,310 Points Jasbir Chatterjee (7/7/2014 5:39:00 PM)

    nice poem...I like the way it builds up to the climax towards the end... (Report) Reply

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  • Gold Star - 7,611 Points Jayatissa K. Liyanage (7/7/2014 3:36:00 AM)

    I like your metaphoric expressions particularly, in this poem. Nice write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 347 Points David Wood (7/7/2013 6:32:00 AM)

    Well done on making member poet of the day, very good imagery used in your poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 10 Points Simon Odhiambo (7/11/2012 6:45:00 AM)

    Good use of imagery...I admire this so so so much. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 182 Points Karen Sinclair (7/7/2012 3:04:00 AM)

    Beautifully unusual...pregnant clouds and children engrossed in the weather, singing and dancing...lovely tyvm karen (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 5 Points Anita Sehgal (7/7/2012 2:24:00 AM)

    mood for appreciating the beauty of the rains... well created (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,753 Points Ken E Hall (7/5/2012 5:35:00 AM)

    A day when the clouds look grey and the thunder storms gather and the king trees bow...nice to read in your style...regards (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,247 Points Unwritten Soul (7/3/2012 5:19:00 AM)

    You creating a rhythmic in a nice rhyme, it is another form than the first one i read, again you did a good job..The future still one of the different..i like both of these poem, keep it up for more_Unwritten Soul (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 37,782 Points Frank James Ryan Jr...fjr (6/30/2012 4:53:00 PM)

    This has a nice rhyme scheme...Your structure needs some work so that each line will flow smoothly into the next.Hhowever, for the most part it is in synch, and I enjoyed the read...~FjR~. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 7,634 Points Neela Nath (6/30/2012 9:43:00 AM)

    Lovely picture of cloud as mother of rain.Wow! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Madison Ann (6/30/2012 4:26:00 AM)

    Good poem_! Last part could use work (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 182 Points Karen Sinclair (6/30/2012 4:25:00 AM)

    A lovely write in a traditional form.... enjoyable, well formed and I like that there is much thought in the structure...tyvm.. karen (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, June 30, 2012

Poem Edited: Thursday, December 20, 2012


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