A Touch Of Fall (Revised) Poem by Rhonda Trull

A Touch Of Fall (Revised)

Rating: 5.0


Walking at dawn's break I felt
A touch of fall in mellow breeze;
A whiff of chill and azure skies,
Of goldenrod and scarlet leaves.

Piquant pumpkin, nutmeg spiced,
Cider drawn from frosty press,
The scent of pine and cedar fires,
Dying oat fields mown and threshed.

Like fog rolls off the cooling soil,
So blows in rest, when rest is due;
And spring and summer's sweaty toils
Are stories shared by harvest moon.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Topic(s) of this poem: seasons
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
I did a little more work on A Touch of Fall. I think the changes improved the poem.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Dan Reynolds 23 September 2014

NIcely written. After a few reads, I found my attetntion drawn to the line Like fog rolls off the cooling soil, Somehow it felt awkward. Perhaps the word Like is my problem (And I mean MY problem, not yours) . I might have used As, as an alternative, but it is purely personal preference. This poem could easily be extended into a sonnet, with a few extra syllables per line, and a closing couplet.

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Chuy Amante 23 September 2014

Very nice! That got me all excited for Fall! I like your writing style

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