jathin aka jesuzz

(23-dec-1987 / india)

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A Vampire’s Dilemma


Motion eludes my conscience
Sublime realities dawn
Dark figures in the ocean
Signal a chaotic retreat motion
Breadcrumbs lead to nowhere
Maps look the same from all angles
Hell! This is a love triangle
Bare bodies of deceit
Surround a soul elite
Walking uphill fear is my only partner
Not of a failure below but
The notion of success above

Freud’s dream I do not care
For my dreams I no longer share
Yoke yellow sun smoothes my eyes
This dawn but will surely dusk
My night, my love u will surely come

Rainbows on bubbles look real
But its life so surreal
The virgin silence succumbs
To the fumbling freshmen of morning sounds
A dead radio humming , a sleeping engine roars
The First birds have started the day
The perfect man has started to pray
For yet another meaningless day
Only to end it and say
Goodnight, to his women, who aside him lay
The seek of night so gray
While The seekers of day burns hay
In dreams of day they crave
One more night to sleep
One more day to hope
For yet another night’s sleep

Submitted: Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Edited: Monday, October 03, 2011

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  • Rookie - 3 Points Dr Hitesh Sheth (3/27/2009 10:39:00 PM)

    Hell! This is a love triangle
    Bare bodies of deceit
    Surround a soul elite................wonderful dilemma.........Good Write............ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points Kesav Easwaran (3/27/2009 2:21:00 AM)

    sleeping in daylight and hoping to live by the darkness of night...well, many human minds are vampire like...artful poetization of the theme inside...10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points Salome Danuba (3/27/2009 1:42:00 AM)

    very strong verses I may say it is a love dilemma and with the line breadcrumbs lead to nowhere is the right words to describe how we feel lost and hopeless sometimes.. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points Scott Daniels (3/26/2009 7:32:00 PM)

    I particularly enjoyed the image of the 'Sublime realities' dawning. For me the poem is about an insomniac, who starts having hallucinations, heads off to sleep, catches bits of sleep here and there and hopes to feel the sweet release of sleep. I could be wrong but thats my interpretation. Your style seems a little abrupt, each line is about a different subject matter rather than expanding on the line before it, not that thats a bad thing.
    Good stuff (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 69 Points Seema Chowdhury (3/26/2009 7:38:00 AM)

    one more day to hope......lovely. very nice and imaginative poem. keep up the good work. take care (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Anjali Sinha (3/26/2009 12:04:00 AM)

    wowwwwwwww
    the virgin silence succumbs
    beautiful phrases and great imagery
    -10 anjali (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points James Nall (3/25/2009 9:29:00 PM)

    I gave you a 10 for the surrealistic picture you painted.Try my Kann Abels Restuarant And Walking in Twilight, let me know your thoughts. Also, if you read My Angel, print it for Mothers Day if you like, thanx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Nagourta (3/25/2009 9:08:00 PM)

    Whoever said a vampyre does not dream?

    Kindov sick of the vampyre movement personally, but this was good after it's fashion. I liked the imagery regarding the bubble the most. It was well said. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Rosalita Fernandez (3/25/2009 6:56:00 PM)

    I really like it, but i agree with the other comments, im confused by the message, its a vague, i do like it, it really isn't a critisism hell my 'poems' are truely awful! it is good but the message needs to be clearer! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Christina Phan (3/25/2009 6:49:00 PM)

    I luv it
    what messages you are sending?
    I dont get it
    its was great
    8+
    its kind of scared and mystery (Report) Reply

Read all 23 comments »

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