A Vampiric's Lust Poem by Aubrey Silver

A Vampiric's Lust

Rating: 5.0


eyes the color of gold
there is a story that must be told
a passionate soul that is true
could i be the one for you?
within the darkness of night there is a secret i must hide
could you be the holder of my pride?
through the paleness of life,
you will never let me bring down my knife
with you buy my side i may never die
because i make you form a gentle sigh...
you tell me i have no strife
but what is the point of immortality if you deny your self the simple pleasures in life
the immortality i declare is not the answer so beware

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Greenwolfe 1962 03 February 2009

An interesting little story. There are a few misspelled words. Be sure and reread the piece again. Again, a nice piece of prose to begin. GW62

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Florence P. Wordsmith 05 February 2009

I like the imagery as well as the freedom of the rhyme scheme. Good job!

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Catrina Heart 07 February 2009

The immortality i declare is not the answer so beware.........thought provoking line...You talked about freedom about doing little things that makes one happy, you talked about immortality in which you only have it in your mind? hhhmmm nice irony when there's no absolution in the end...10

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Darkness J 03 February 2009

I really loved it, I like this style! Keep it!

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Aqeb Benazir 05 August 2011

I really like the tone of this poem specially the first 6 lines...It's very convincing and a shocking truth hides in the words with a surprise. This style of writing poetry is a lot like mine but yours is only a little more Ingenuous... this is very impressive and well fitted with the context...keep it up!

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Jessica Robert 05 June 2009

This poem reminds me of Twilight {a novel 4 those who don't know}, and that's a good thing because i LOVE Twilight: D Cheers, (je l'adore!) H&K's ~Jess~<33

1 0 Reply

Nice job on this poem keep up the good work cb

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Emily Sleator *His Babey* 07 February 2009

love the last line n the rythm of the poem! ! =]

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Emily Sleator *His Babey* 07 February 2009

love the last line n the rythm of the poem! ! =]

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