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Fay Slimm

Rookie - 12 Points (Ageless. / in Cornwall U.K.)

A Waterway Walk.

A sudden gust of misty breeze rushed in
And left pinheads of wet on windblown hair.
Though swans still floated in for late dinner
I had to go and leave them mutely there.
Such galleon-feathered whiteness, rare sight
Which catches breath away, over twenty
Swans together, gracing sunshine's last light,
As clouds loomed in, dropping gloom again.

Where better to see nature, - in array
Along a lake or pond, where goose and duck
Are searching now for nest-sites. Then they lay
Their future broods that when once hatched will look
For all the world like clockwork toys, darting,
So alive to mothers' wings, thus fleeing harm.
Around this watery world I walk, as part
Of daily habit, - - to embrace it's calm.

Submitted: Sunday, March 08, 2009

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  • Rookie - 596 Points Saadat Tahir (5/21/2009 7:39:00 AM)

    So alive to mothers' wings, thus fleeing harm.
    Around this watery world I walk, as part
    Of daily habit, - - to embrace it's calm.
    very very placid and ageless as the beauty of nature...till death do us part...
    never been to england...but read a bit about it... you might find some of my poems interesting...they are tailored in england...sewn here in pakistan
    cheers (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Laurence Bourke (4/12/2009 5:39:00 AM)

    This is a truly stunning piece, one of the best I've read here so far, such great attention to imagery and a real sense of serenity penetrated my poetic eye as i visualized this wonderful place you conveyed for us, so many fabulous lines to read and read again, i love imagery and this is brimful with it! ! ! a true poet you are my friend! !

    fabulous work keep it up! ! I'll be downloading your ebook now! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Alison Cassidy (3/21/2009 2:36:00 AM)

    Of course, the swans that inspired this fabulous poem, are of 'galleon-feathered whiteness', unlike those in Australia - black as coal with bright red bills (almost Spanish) . But the elegance and grace of the swan is universal and your poem gracefully expresses this truth. In particular I loved 'gracing sunshine's last light, ' and 'alive to mothers' wings, '. A lyrical pastoral poem with great appeal. Love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 7 Points Deva De Silva (3/20/2009 9:55:00 AM)

    This serene poem calls for all eyes and ears… It made me visualize what you penned and beyond… It made me think of life forms in all seasons…Not only swans and ducks in the spring I saw geese walking on ice in winter! A magnificent piece with vivid imagery…An insisting and exquisite reminder of the wondrous nature! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sandra Fowler (3/20/2009 7:09:00 AM)

    I have often written with 'Swan Lake' playing in the background.
    Your beautiful poem lingers in the mind like that luminous
    music. You are truly a poet worthy of the name.


    SandraX. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Randy Hogan (3/19/2009 3:33:00 PM)

    Your poems are so truly beautiful..
    And your love nature,
    And your passion for life always
    dances in you writing...
    Now when I see a Bird
    Landing in the water, I think of you...
    Our when I go on a walk and see a amazing little
    wild flower....I think Fay
    Fay the beautiful wild flower....
    Randy~*~ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 222 Points Marie Shine (3/17/2009 5:07:00 PM)

    A very well written and beautiful poem which flows well, like the water on which the swans swim. lovely imagery also. A well deserved 10. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Karin Anderson (sorry can't vote or comment) . (3/9/2009 7:29:00 AM)

    Fay, your imagery blows me away from Australia to you on your wonderful daily walk.
    The clockwork toys and twenty swans gracing sunshines last light made me realize how special your walks are. Wonderful writing! Karin Anderson (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Viola Grey (3/8/2009 4:50:00 PM)

    there is something so peacefull about just sitting and watching beauty...you take us there so easily...nice write (Report) Reply

Read all 11 comments »

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