A Year Ago Tonight Poem by Jade Leven

today the hope returned to my eyes
I couldn’t have been any more surprised
I thought that it was over for sure

but my heart swiftly broke its fall
and it rebuilt all its crumbled walls
a euphoria I couldn’t endure

I didn’t cry, I don’t know why
when the frustration was mounting
it happened a year ago tonight
but who’s counting?
I let you tell yourself you miss me
I would have loved for you to say that last year
you miss me? you love me?
for some reason
that’s the last thing I want to hear


then you appeared in my dreams
so it must be way worse than it seems
because I felt like I knew you again

so there I was at four in the morning
then suddenly, without a warning
I wanted to see you again

I didn’t cry, I don’t know why
when the frustration was mounting
it happened a year ago tonight
but who’s counting?
I let you tell yourself you miss me, you love me
I would have loved for you to say that last year
you miss me? you love me?
for some reason
that’s the last thing I want to hear

sometimes I wonder
what goes on inside your head
how much space is there between
what you meant and what you said
I have a bad feeling
I hope it’s just my imagination
because this to me this looks just like
a painful situation

I didn’t cry, I don’t know why
when the frustration was mounting
it happened a year ago tonight
but who’s counting?
I let you tell yourself you miss me, you love me
I would have loved for you to say that last year
you miss me? you love me?
for some reason
that’s the last thing I want to hear

a year ago tonight
you were thanking me for listening to you
a year ago tonight
you were thanking me for believing the truth
a year ago tonight
I was breathing in your reality
but tonight, tonight, tonight
I’m beginning to understand our own mortality

I didn’t cry, I don’t know why
when the frustration was mounting
it happened a year ago tonight
but who’s counting?
I let you tell yourself you miss me, you love me
I would have loved for you to say that last year
you miss me? you love me?
for some reason
that’s the last thing I want to hear

I want to hear your voice...
but only if I can hear it
a year ago tonight