Again And Again(My Repetitive Stupidity) Poem by Guarded Heart

It’s like I was destined to fail
No credit to my name
I’m always the one to blame
I’ve tried my hardest
I’ve crashed and burned
Tried to start over, live a new life
But you, my damned past, followed me
Bringing with you grief and strife
It seems I can’t be anymore than I was
I’m done crying, it’s time to except, that
I am who I am, while I have the pride left
I’ll walk away from here with my head held high
No tail between my legs, again I tell you
I will not apologize, I’m still not sorry
Consider me offended that you think so little of me
Take your pity from me, please
I know now that I don’t need you
I’m done changing for them
They’ll have to except me as I am

Always, again and again
I fall to my repetitive stupidity
I always fall into the wrong line
The wrong order, and though I’ve committed no crime
I still served the required time
It’s time to live a life that’s mine
I’ll go where I want to be
I know you don’t want me
I’m a distraction to your life
I get in the way of your son and wife
How could I have been so stupid?
To think you had grown up, changed
I realize now you’re still the same
Your anger was only chained, temporarily contained

Again and again I fall to my stupidity
“Why do you always pick the wrong ones? ” Is what someone asked me
Each one the same as before, never caring about me
They only love me as much as I’m willing to give
Yet why am I willing to give you so much
For that so called love, constant affection?
Am I so insecure that I really need them?
Do I really need them to care that I’m there
Does it make me as shallow?
As the other girls who need them there