Agoraphobia In October - Poem by AaI Harvey
Agoraphobia in October.
Aa ‘as Agoraphobia, so please come cry on my shoulder.
I would come crashing in through the window to rescue you;
But I can’t be your saviour, but now I am a little older,
Maybe I could speak my knowledge, my wisdom, my truth.
I can’t deal with people, I hate them;
They disgust me, yet I have too much empathy for women.
Their thoughts sink into my life like a tumour.
They can’t be removed, without losing my mind; hello agoraphobia.
I can’t go outside today, because I don’t have to.
I can only go out when I have to, to survive,
Or shop, or dine, or school.
If I have to go out, with just a few heart attacks;
I shall be fine! It is only confidence I lack.
But the fear I have running through my veins;
That is why I cannot go out today.
What if I get stabbed? I’ll have to feel their pain.
I’ll have to put up with the adulterators again.
I’ll have to hear the lies and the false goodbyes;
Which hide behind smiles, yet cheat and lie.
So give me death, rather than empathy;
I despise everyone I see before me.
Except the women who are truly beautiful;
You see, I see through rose tinted glasses and oh girl!
You are fine! Do you want to be mine?
Do you like getting high? No I can’t go outside.
I must stay here in loneliness, alone at home;
Because I can’t stand the outside world.
I can’t stand to be around such horrible people;
Everyone wants to fight, where is the love? All I see is evil.
Deceit and pain and hurt and things;
Are all I can see in the words people speak.
So rescue me with a home delivery;
I can’t be around them anymore. They sicken me.
A bang on the door, it could be the police.
It could be a psychopath, looking for me.
It could be the postman, with a red letter day.
Debts to be paid when I have no money.
The sun is shining so brightly today,
I think I’ll close the curtains and hide away.
I hear the people out there, oh no they are drunk.
I’ll stay at home and smoke this green skunk.
The black and white skunk, smells horrible.
The green plant called skunk, is simply delightful.
But paranoia and agoraphobia, leave me to my will.
I will do this, I will do that;
I will go outside, but I won’t wear that hat.
Let them see the fear in my eyes,
So they can see I am stoned and they are despised.
Aggravation, all across the nation,
Leaves me to rot in this Hell; my only salvation.
Panic attacks, little heart stopping delights;
Not in this life, they are a Hell to my sight.
They seem to only make it even harder to go outside;
But my fear is my own, so I shall stay inside and hide.
(C) 2011 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
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