Alert! Poem by Max McGovern

Alert!
That is what you must be.

While reading poetry, like writing it,
it is so easy to miss.

Raise the vanguard!
The orcs are coming.

Its dangerous for my toothbrush
To be this close
To pubic hair.

-I feel like I should explain-

See there is a little ledge,
The divider in the showers rather,
Upon which I place my items for showerings.

Naturally, as my soap is all-natural,
Others too place their belongings here
And so by chance hairs,
Manage to climb this ledge.
Do not ask how, for if I knew I would tell.
But my toothbrush is literally
A step away from hell.

You see.
I will try to bend the words,
Boxes and levers too.
Leaves that reflect the blue lights of cop cars
And somehow translate that color into a lighter neon shade of
Purple.
The leaves hold water,
water
By the way.

It rained for three days straight
So the ground is fairly .

Little bugs and things have been running across my vision now
When I get drunk.
I’d like to think they are spirits,
But then you’d think me quite insane.

I felt like a was about to get arrested
By the housing staff a minute

Ago, ego and drunk and they thought me a punk,
Trying to squeeze through the
Bent screen, which I was trying to do
But lied and said I’d never done.
Hahaha, aren’t words fun.
But deception is a terrible, terrible thing.
Honor code, but not everyone’s honest.
They said they are going to put our dorm…

On watch.

Haha.

Dorms.

Pssh,
Dorms.

Little boxes and the thoughts contained therein.
And in the beginning is the end, vice versa
Vice grip on my throat,
And one too many
Cigarettes and burns in the Pink Floyd
Shirt. Coat.

It hurt!
To get out of bed in the morning!
Ahh what a pleasant thing,
To get out of bed in the morning.

It-aa
Is-aaa
Nice-aaaa.

You remember that cat from Alice in Wonderland?
Yea I meant for the ‘it is nice’ up there to sound like his voice.
Maybe it was the caterpillar, I can’t remember
But either you will know what I’m talking about or you wont.
It’s a voice, a sound, not an image that
-will comes
or -will goes.
Chilly wet winter toes.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that water
Is made of snow.

See that is why its so easy to miss.
I can’t let YOU in, because I myself have lost it,

The key that is.

Anyway that’s none of your biz.
That stupid and lost key almost just got me arrested
By the housing staff.

Its a good thing I had the sense to introduce myself
To them
Like a man.

It was the caterpillar afterall, from Wonderland. I just remembered.
Smoke rings.
They work well with thought,
Despite the smell, I find smoke rather cleansing.
It wishy washes away the
bad vibes.

Bad pipes
in this building,
That’s why I don’t drink the water,
That has come from snow.

And as for why my soap is all natural?

Didn’t mean for that to be a question,
But it’s a matter of interpretation,
There are eyes in these walls
And this place can talk
And they tell stories about me.

I must say
I do NOT like it,
Not one little bit.
But I do think its kinda funny.
Glad I could make your news.
Sad that you have nothing better to talk about.
Its pretty useless anyway
Talking.
All you’re doing is creating more boxes,
And friends don’t put friends in boxes like that.
But I will promise to never do anything to you without your consent.

(by the way those last three lines are the best way ever to comeback at a girl who has tried to place you in the friend zone. Remember that when you need to most. If you say it just like that, or maybe even a little tweaked to your own version,
A little slant, telling slant just a little
Well then you might,
You just might
Get that.)

If you know what I mean, hahaha.
(this is the part where I would be jostling you in the ribs with my elbow as we laughed together,
If you were here that is.)

I had my first Asian the other night. I hope you understand what I mean by that, if you don’t think about it and I’ll come back to you later.

And over the weekend we saw Afroman live in show.
That bar was packed,
The damn floor could be felt sagging in
under the weight of dancing drunks.
Virginia Tech is fun, I think I’ll be re-attending soon
But I do like here

here at UVA.
It’s a wonder why other people call it UV GAY.
Because there really aren’t that many maggots.
Now don’t get me wrong, there plenty of homosexual people,
But everyone makes this place out to be full of
Fratty maggots.
They either exist, because you have reasoned them into existence

Or they simply
Don’t.

I’ve conditioned my brain in ways you’d really
Like to know about. I wish I could share but its kinda a personal thing,

I’ll tell you what though.
where I got it though:
Eckhart Tolle,
a little meditation,
powerful stones preferably quartz
Or Azurite,
lots of water,
and LSD.

Tripped the first time on a 16th birthday.
Its someone’s birthday today!
Still trying to figure that one out,
Its funny how things like that come about.

No one ever never set out
To do drugs,
Things
Just…
Start to happen.

In the end is the beginning.
I’d repeat it
On this line of the page
but I already repeated it once,
So if you missed it, consider yourself lucky.

You’re probably feeling relieved that you see the end of the ridiculous jabbering coming
And don’t think too hard about this poem,

Its all nonsense,
But things that make sense to me.