All Of A Sudden Poem by Calven Butch

I feel dead but I am not,
I feel the darkness but nothings there,
I feel alone but everyone's there,
I feel abused but no one touches me,
Ever since you stepped into my life,
I feel none of this,
hate,
anger,
rage,
pain and even fear,
I was afraid you wern't going to like me for me,
till the day you said 'I Love You'
then i thought everything was going to be okay but I was wrong,
things got worse,
I had to deal with an everyday life while you spend your time messing around,
I wish i had that kind of life,
but nope,
gotta work for a living,
Have to let others ahead of myself,
Have to see them first even if I am dying,
They must be taken care of first,
Why does life throw those obsticals at me in such a way I can not take it?
Well I'll have to deal with it,

A tear falls down my face but no one sees it,
I cry out in pain but no one hears it,
Fear pulses in me but no one sees it,
I am weak and very scared but no one notices
If I die tomorrow no one will care,
If I live and no one will know,
I am very an unnoticeable person as you can tell,
But that takes it to the next level,
I cry sometimes but not all the time,
I can not cry or I'll be shammed,
I'll be pushed down and made fun of,
I have to be this tough, strong and independent person but all I really want is someone to love me,
no one will see that but you,
no one will open their eyes and see the real me,
they see that shrouded mist I use to hide my true scared, terrified self,
I am different then everyone sees me and thats because their blind and your not,
I am a dark and evil person who only knows how to be sadistic,
I hate myself,
but you love me,
I want to die but you help me,
I want to disappear and you hold onto me,
I do love you but I can not show these fake emotions anymore,
I want to run but you stop me,
I want to explode but you calm me,
Please stay with me,
I need someone but in the end I am alone,
in the dark,
without a person in sight,
no one sticks with that person for long,
they end up leaving anyway,
well that's what I found out just moments ago