All That Is Lost Poem by Desiree Whitamore

i'm out of their world
my feelings are not taken to heart by them
i'm confused
speaking a language i do not speak
no matter how hard i try
i'm out of the loop
they see through me and try to try
but i'm helpless
i wish i could be like them
so proud and strong
but my family is broken
and i'm judged.
they have love
i have debt.
the little baby helped me
but my brother's love is not enough sometimes
i hug them, they hug me back
but secretly they laugh
they laugh at how i act
and what she has told them.
i wish i wasn't as awkward in my skin
but its coated with tears as i plan my future
they love each other, and come running
i call and he's not there.
why can't i have what they have?
why must god want something different from me
how can i possibly do what they want
while i am hurting for all that is lost?