All Wrinkled And Faded. Poem by Graham Jones
All Wrinkled And Faded.
Old snapshots in broken drawers
Through lack of light now show their flaws
Wrinkled and faded, a reflection of truth
A testament to the pssing of youth
Thoughts scramble to purchase a grip
Were these taken local, or out on a trip?
So long ago forgotten faces
Family friends, familiar places
Disjointed, fragmented, slots in time
Resurface now, through the dust and the grime
Mingled emotions as they now appear
Linger like smoke and then disappear
Children grown up, now middle aged
Pose for photographs, clearly staged
A catalogue of my life, my past
The years have come and gone so fast
Husband, father, and now grandad
I had my day as jack the lad
Snapshots from another time
Replaced in drawers, for others to find.
In general, Graham, I think this is a lovely, rhythmic and wistful piece of writing. There are one or two points that I feel could be worked on, though: *Consistency of rhythm. I feel you can achieve full consistency, Graham. I'd certainly like to see line 3 section 4 with greater metrical balance (along with a few others) . *Sequencing. I feel section 3 ought to precede section 2. In the current sequencing, when I reached section 3 I felt as if you were coming back on yourself. *'Purchase a grip'. I feel you can find a more...picturesque expression here. *Correct 'pssing' to 'passing'. I mean these comments with goodwill, Graham. Warmest wishes, Gina.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/24/2024 4:21:31 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Enjoyable Read....warm regards, ....xx