Ambidextrous Bullshit Artist Poem by Ted Sheridan

Gorilla Survival Tactics are required
in a world where the left battles the right
and the right excommunicates the left
while the center eats its own.....
When I was a young child in school
someone stated that left handed people
are more intelligent than right handed people
as if to imply the majority of people
being right handed were not competent....
Not wishing to be grouped in either camp
I learned to write with both hands....
But that did not suffice as I was soon challenged
to prove myself to one side or the other....
One thing led to another.....
While playing ball....I would throw right and bat left
or shoot from the free throw line as a lefty
and lay up with a deadly right hand dunk.....
But more importantly....much more importantly than anything else.....
I learned to speak out of both sides of my mouth.....