An Interesting Way To Die Poem by Amanda Saveley

I want...
Need
To fix this.
Somehow...
To gain forgiveness...

I would scale a wall.

I'm suddenly feeling the azure-eyed hero of angst,
The only things separating us being physical appearance
And the fact that,
Instead of avoiding the phone,
I cling to it in simple desperation
(Okay, maybe not cling, but I'm definitely in close vicinity)

I never wait for calls.
I loathe the thing called the telephone.
In fact,
If I could communicate by shouting from my front lawn,
I'd do it!

But I can't.
Though I would.
I would shout my apology out
To the entire neighborhood
For blocks and blocks
Until my voice died
Or someone shoots me

I should be shot
Hanged for my crimes against love
Thrown off the highest balcony in the city
Which honestly isn't that high,
But it's definitely enough to kill me
Not in the way I deserve
But who's to choose?

I should be stabbed,
Slaughtered the way I'm sure I slaughtered you,
Tearing out your heart in brutal agony
All over things I just cannot say to you

I don't blame you for not returning my call
I wouldn't want to talk to me either
I wouldn't want to see me ever again
I would want to do to me what I did to you
Tenfold,
And without mercy

I should die for what I did
And I am dying
Sitting here,
Waiting for a call that may never come

A most appropriate sentence.