Ana (My Life) Poem by Anita Shanti Joseph

The sky was liquid blue
As though it had borrowed
The scene from the ocean
The puffy clouds spread
Their wings, casting a shadow
Like a bough. The sun smiled
Through the veil and there
Was spring in the air.
The day the 16th, the month
February, the year 1959
Joseph was jubilant
Yet worried, it had
Been a long wait
There was some miscalculation of the date.
It might be a caesarean they said
The conception had confused
The doctors and the nurses.
It might have been a tumour!
So motionless and too quiet
When the date arrived
And I took my time to
Push my head out into
The world; the struggle
Began.
Everything was prepared for
Everything was ready
The operation was to take place
I was to be the seventh child.
Daisy was upset and in deep pain
Joseph had to decide between the two
Of us. He naturally wanted the
Mother – he had two young girls at hand.

Prayers were said by her
Bedside, by two aunties:
Aunt Flora and sis Mcqueen,
Both missionaries. Then
Suddenly Daisy felt the pains
Oh I feel the pain I feel the push,
She was right – I was born with
A loud cry. The doctor spanked me
And I breathed my first air in
The Egmore Maternity Hospital.
Lucky! – This child is special
The doctor encouraged Daisy
‘I wanted a son, doctor, ’
Daisy whispered softly.
‘Don’t you worry, ’ he said,
‘She won’t disappoint you! ’
Daisy smiled. She wished it was
True. She made up her mind
She was going to give her all
Teach this child something
Not yet reached by others
She’s got to be different
Sex does not matter
What matters is…
Will she carry our light home.
I was driven home
In the dark night
Home was St Thomas Mount
81 Butt Road a cosy nook
It was there under the
Sacred Hills that I grew
To be a question?
Too many answers.

I did my schooling in
St Dominic Anglo-Indian High School
And graduated from the Women’s Christian
College. I read my History. Became interested
In poetry from 1985/6 and began writing
From 1993, Sep 30th, after the Latur
Earthquake in which I thought I lost
A dear friend. My first poem ‘Radii of Love’
Was published by Padma Bhushan, Dr Krishna Srinivas.