Andrea's Regrets Poem by gina layog

Forty years ago...
I may have danced with you....
Or say I love you...or not?
Thirty-nine years ago....
I may have laughed with you...
Talked in spanglish to you...
Joked about the way you walked...or not?
Thrity-eight years ago....
I may have reasoned with you...
Conspired against you...
Rebelled against you....or not?
Thirty-seven years ago...
I may have kissed you...
Kicked you... Stood beside you... or not?
Thrity-six years ago...
I may have spoken about 'love'
Persuaded you to apply...
Accused you of your part.. or not?
Thrity-five years ago...
I may have risked my life for you...
Bathed you in my blood to cleanse you inside....
Or not?
Thrity-four years ago...
I may have wronged you...
May I be forgiven...or not?
Thrity-three years ago...
I may have abandoned you...
Convinced you of my lies...or not?
Thrity-two years ago...
I may have rejected you...
Surprised you... amazed you.. or not?
Thrity-one years ago...
I may have torn your heart apart...
Pulled you apart...or not?
Thrity years ago....
I wrestled with my demons...
Poured my heart out...
Answered the questions from your heart...or not?
Twenty-nine years ago...
I scared you off..confirmed your fears...or not?
Twenty-eight years ago....
I was blind to your dreams....Tried not to scream....
collaborated and schemed....or not?
Twenty-seven years ago...
I was like lead...a burden to your head....
Something that hangs around your neck...or not?
Twenty-six years ago...
I realized that the 'tooth fairy' died...
And that motherhood was not mine...or not?
Twenty-five years ago...
I wanted to die...tired soul expired...
Tainted, withered, good bye....or not?
Twenty-four years ago....
I seek you and hide away from you...
Afraid of the feeling you stirred inside...or not?
Twenty-three years ago...
I learned from you...leaned on you...or not?
Twenty-two years ago...
I wanted you..fell for you..
Want to begin with you...or not?
Twenty-one years ago...
I smiled at you...you smiled back....or not?
The journey ends or has it begun...
The past is all that remains...
The future a question mark...
Memories that mark the years contain...
Of tomorow that was once full of certainty...
Now must face the inevitability...
Of loss and vulnerability....