Another Day. Poem by Brian Kamara

Another night out
Staring desolately into a bleak future.
The cold breeze blowing
Does not help either.
The stars, my only solace,
Shine bright……
Maybe there is hope out there,
Maybe.

The thought of him
As my only drive –
I bear it all,
The loneliness, the cold,
The spite.
The thought of him
As my only drive –
I manage a smile.
The thought of him
As my only drive –
I think of tomorrow,
A better tomorrow.
Maybe I can make it,
Maybe.

I think of my life
Of what it has become,
And wonder if that is all
It was meant to be –
I’ve known no pleasure,
No joy, no sound of laughter
Has escaped my tired mouth,
Nothing but conventionality.

It wasn’t always like this
There was a time,
Not so long ago,
When I knew happiness;
Back then,
When I knew love.
There,
Only exists in my dreams now.

I stir from my reverie
Business has been slow
These past days –
I am becoming desperate…
But tonight is good,
A brief haggle, a nod –
And all is set.

It is over quickly,
But I barely notice,
For experience has taught
Me indifference,
Every one is just the same -
The same smile, same smirk,
Same grunts of effort, satisfaction –
No feeling, no emotion.
Another night out.

Tired, spent, alone,
I drag myself home –
He meets me at the door,
With the same smile that has been my solace
All these years.
I hold him in my arms,
And looking into his eyes
I cannot help but think
That I was right to keep him.
He excitedly shows me a picture
He has drawn of me and him,
I hold it close and I know,
That with the thought of him
As my only drive –
I will brave another day.