Another Triolet Attempt Poem by Lillian Susan Thomas

Hi Lillian - It is nice to find PH members tackling classical forms like the TRIOLET. This is not an easy form because you only get eight lines to get your message across. In essence I agree with Sue's objective critique. You have added the word WHEN in line FOUR to facilitate meaning and I guess I can forgive that, although in my opinion it is not really necessary and hinders the flow for recitation (try it with and without) . This form is normally used for a LIGHT topic - your is a little more sinister. The rhymes are full and excellent - preserving the classical Triolet pattern A B a A a b A B. Well done thanks for sharing and the humility of you title! ! ! . Love in Poetry - JOHN.

I love this. I've read it over and over. It's the last poem I'll read tonight, well done.

Hey this is cool.. nice rhymes too... this is short but in most ways an amusing and enjoyable piece... good! ! ! love shah

The form of the triolet really suits the subject matter of this poem. The round of questions and repetition give a vivid insight into the churning mind of the troubled lover. An excellent choice of rhyming words: room/bloom/loom - it evokes the feeling of impending doom. S :)