Another Xmas Fall Out Poem by Midnight Blues

Another Christmas fall out,
great that's it,  
that's how we roll.
I should no this by now.
Six years of it.
I actually thought I was smart..
Not at all the jokes on me...
It truly is.....
Tomorrow is a new day..
New for u, the kids, for myself, for everyone....
It's up to me to change it....
u kept showing me, the door ages ago....
I just wanted to be blinded from it..
That's why I closed the door...
Why I believed, I had dreams, goals, beautiful girls...
2 marly lee & boom-bi.....
2days ago I wrote that Chrissy day....
Am I over it?
does he understand?
no.....no..no..
Am I tired of it all?
Yes...
am I angry?
yes but most of all....
I am hurt.... 
Say nothing,
keep it all to myself.....
trying to talk about it, hasn't worked for years...
Time to not say a thing...
A new rule for myself,
I do not want to listen,
to the drama or have the drama.. 
No more...
I need to do what is best,
for my own, sanity...
& for my kids as well.
Let go, move on, learn to forgive & move forward.... 
Start fresh, reborn yourself, be stronger... 
They have the choice to react.
There own opinions,
Each to there own,
but I have the choice to say NO....
I don't want to know about the BS...
You said what is the problem..
& I'm the only person to change it all.
My lesson is to say no....
No more tears, stop letting yourself get hurt...
U allow this to happen...
Work on myself instead of trying to be there for others....
U need to help yourself, before u can help others...
You see,
no point even expressing my feelings, & my heart... 
He has nothing to say......
He is who he is,
He will never try to understand me,
the way I do for him...
U see that's right,
when you give....
u give freely.....
with no expectation, & then you won't get hurt.
That's where I get it all wrong so many times... 
My own mistake, so nobody to blame but myself...
So let's not give huh,
be selfish think for me & for my kids. 
Learn to say no,
to yourself & to others...
Those others just want to take take take....
I wonder why I'm losing it 
but my own creation.... 
Change it.....
I'm frustrated,
I need time out, from this craziness,  
I've created for myself. 
Maybe it's time to read that booklet,  
what was given to me.....
All I want to do is lock myself in my room
& just sleep, sleep, sleep...