Assume Nothing Poem by Amanda Saveley

We're not friends
Just because some stupid site says so.
So don't come up thinking we're tight...
That we're close...

You aren't that lucky.

My friends work long and hard to gain that status
And some never really do
If you're my friend
You'll know it.
If you're not sure
Ask me...

I'll tell you straight-up.

My friends and I have inside jokes.
We laugh at simple things that no one could think of
I get them, and they get me,
And I never hesitate to ask for help with them
Just like they know I'm the one to come to for weird advice
Others are afraid to give.

I love my friends
No matter what age,
Race,
Creed,
Gender,
Political view,
Or sexual preference.
If you like what I like, cool
(Though sometimes I might suggest you get your head examined)
If you don't, that's cool too
Even better,
Cause I love to argue and I love to learn
So whether I'm right or wrong,
Either way, I win!

I have some gorgeous friends with some beautiful souls
And some mediocre friends with some beautiful souls
And even some 'omgwhatinthehellhappenedtoyourface? ' friends
With some BEAUTIFUL souls...
But I have no friends with hideous souls
All my friends are good
Now as for intelligence...

I'll get back to you on that one.

Cause my friends make mistakes,
And I'm not afraid to tell them that
Cause when I make mistakes
They'd better well tell me
Or I'll tell them off for that too!

Cause with me and my friends,
My real friends
My honest-to-whatever-greater-force-is-out-there friends
There are few secrets
And even fewer lies
Because we respect each other better than that
(though it may not look like that sometimes....)

So yeah,
If you can't check all of the above
If you come up short
If you're a little confused
Just ask me
I'll be honest
But chances are...

We're not friends