Awake Poem by Cindy Rheeder

I've been awake since the crack of dawn,
Thinking of what I'll say to you today,
But when I see that smile on your face,
Everything inside me drops to my smouldering heart.
I've been awake since late last night,
Thinking that today I can say to you what I need to,
But when I look into you blazing eyes,
Everything drops and I'm left there like a blabbering buffoon.
I've been asleep for almost half the year,
So stop making me fall in love with you,
Whenever it seems that I get over you,
You start afresh and break my heart time after time.
I've been awake since the crack of dawn,
Thinking that today I'll have the courage to say your name,
But when I see you avoiding my eyes,
Every joy I feel in my beating heart drops,
Into the ice cold room that I have built.
I've been awake since late last night,
Trying to get you off my mind,
To avoid the disappointment in my voice and eyes,
And see you crack a smile.
But you never do.
I've been awake almost the whole damn night,
Thinking, knowing that what I said had hurt you so,
I can't fall asleep and think that I might have broken you heart,
And I can't look you in your auburn eyes.
Unwanted tears streams down my cheeks,
And I think that I might cry in front of you,
I'm sorry for my harsh words,
I only say them ‘because I can't admit the truth.
I've fallen in love with you,
Not just because you were there,
But because I see the person you try to hide,
And I wish I could show you the person I always hide.
I've been awake since the crack of dawn,
Thinking off all this throughout the night,
I wanted to tell you this so many times,
But you're better off without knowing how I feel.