Bar Fly Poem by Thomas Vaughan Jones

I was sitting on my lonesome in a corner of the bar.
Contemplating as I drank an ice cold beer,
when a man from Loozeanna who was kinda under par
started shouting out for all the world to hear.

'I'm the toughest roughest cowpoke that you folks have ever seen
I'm the hardest hombre since the world began.
I'm a whirlin' twirlin' twister, an' there ain't a man so mean
as would tangle with a Loozeanna man'

I stood up slow and easy, I was heading for the john,
Then he swung and hit me with a baseball bat.
My head began a-buzzin' and I had a dander on
for he'd put a doggone crease in my best hat.

Wa'al he dragged upon my hair some, took a bite out of my nose,
and I very slowly started to get mad.
I'm a quiet man from Texas and don't often come to blows,
but I hit him with the best shot that I had.

He was shaken for a minute then he got up once again.
Started in like he was coming back for more,
So I kicked him where his mother hasn't looked since he was ten.
Then I nailed his ears down firmly to the floor.

There are times a feller wants to sit and have a drink or two.
Reminiscing on the hard men that he's met.
Especially those who plumb forgot, as some are prone to do,
That a Texican's as tough as you can get.

I'm just sitting on my lonesome in a corner of the bar
There's this feller and he's looking straight at me.
I can see his busted nose and on his face a fancy scar
As he says 'Hey Mister! I'm from Tennessee...'