Barbwire Fence Poem by Randy Johnson

Old man Smith has a sign that says not to trespass.
I crawled under his barbwire fence and it pricked my ass.
That darn fence also ripped off my pants.
My legs got covered with about two hundred ants.

They climbed up my underwear and started biting my ass.
They all ran to the ground when I passed gas.
I turned around and saw Old man Smith's bull.
I started running because I'm no fool.

The bull chased me and used its horns to tear off my underwear.
I finally got away but I was embarrassed and scared.
I needed to get home without being seen.
But an old lady fainted when she saw me.

Being seen naked was something I was trying to prevent.
When that old lady saw me, I nearly died of embarrassment.
Running from that bull was very intense.
That's the last time I'll crawl under a barbwire fence.