Treasure Island

Jessica Lockhart

Beauty In The Eye Of The Beholder

You tell me I am brilliant
I tell you that you lie
If only you could see
The truth that lies inside
Just beneath the surface
Is a soul broken and battered
Waiting to be pieced together
To fix the dreams that shattered
On the outside it isn't clear
What is behind my expert facade
But in the end it doesn't matter
In the end, I'm just a fraud

Submitted: Sunday, June 30, 2013
Edited: Saturday, April 12, 2014

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Topic(s): beauty

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  • Bri Edwards (3/15/2014 7:59:00 PM)

    basically i enjoyed the poem with its rhyming. i would call the rhyming 'imperfect', BUT rhyming does NOT have to be 'perfect'; i would rather have a well-constructed and meaningful or hilarious or clever or scary or tear-jerking poem with NO rhymes, than a poem with perfect rhymes but nothing else going for it.
    i AM confounded a bit by the change from Beauty in the title to brilliant in the first line. are you using one to mean the other? i would take beauty to refer to physical attractiveness and brilliant to refer to intelligence. SO i'm not sure what the speaker is a fraud about.
    i'm assuming this is not about YOU, but often i assume a poem about personalities/hardships/etc, when told in the first person, IS about the poet. i know these are far from being assumptions i should make.

    my favorite lines: Waiting to be pieced together
    To fix the dreams that shattered

    one more thing about the writing: it lacks punctuation AND each line starts with a capital letter (both a poet's choice) and this lack CAN cause difficulties for the reader when some lines may seem to be parts of one sentence, but could be part of another, or seem to be at first.
    thanks for sharing. :) bri (Report) Reply

  • Gajanan Mishra (6/30/2013 10:36:00 PM)

    truth is here, beauty is here just see and live. good write.
    I invite you to read my poems and comment. (Report) Reply

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