Becoming Poem by Valerie Dohren
Becoming
It was dark,
I was immersed in a fluid world,
so small within its depths.
Beyond the boundary, muffled sounds
soft and tender, could be heard.
Sighs, laughter, and I longed to see from where they came,
yearning for sight to penetrate opaque lids.
But all that could be seen were shadows -
shadows,
like phantoms drifting through a sea of calm.
In the distance could be heard a hypnotic tick tick tick,
marking time it seemed -
my time, here, within.
But what of time:
was there a beginning, or an end?
Suspended in peaceful unknowing,
I was rocked, by the gentle sway of my world,
into a silent slumber.
All was well in this universe,
where quiet waves licked against unseen shores.
But there was a storm unfolding.
A turbulence began to envelop me;
I was surrounded with its torment
- undulating, seizing, pushing -
and I felt the first pangs of fear
pulsating through my being.
Then, bewildered and disgruntled,
I emerged from the darkness,
kicking and screaming
into the light.
Something quite different from your usual vein, but replete with punching emotions! Some lines leave a special mark like - - All was well in this universe, where quiet waves licked against unseen shores In this context I invite you to read my poem- The Great Escape, almost similar in theme though different in treatment! The first poem I ever wrote
I was engrossd in dis absorbing poem very sublimely crafted in an emotive way like waking frm a dreamlike phase.
fist stanza about being in womb (It was dark, I was immersed in a fluid world, so small within its depths) as relatives and parents wait baby moves and kicks and finally into the light / here a great message in simple way life it self find the way from darkness to light /please come from darkness to light / lovely poem Valerie deserve 10
Excellent poem. Well written with great detail. Enjoyed.
The gift of life is here portrayed with insight and realism!
Oh to be born, our rare and solemn gift of life and its most unlikely occurrence, beautifully portrayed.
This is powerful. The words sort of fell off the page for me, nice flow. I especially enjoy the ending.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/17/2024 4:46:01 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Like a previous poem of yours Val I had to go back over it again, and then I got the Eureka moment! I like your new style of writing on this poem and it has made it more intriguing too. Nice one.