Behind Closed Doors Poem by Bianca Haw

I feel like a child
small, quiet and inconsequential
belittled, shushed and unnoticed.

Everyday I run and play
and everyday I want to say:
I may be childish
I may be carefree,
But my mind is clear
and my thoughts are relevant
I watch like a hawk
and listen to each wee sound

However, when I hear you whisper,
when silence descends
as I walk into the room
and I see the shame of guilt,
I feel like a child
small, quiet and inconsequential
belittled, shushed and unnoticed.

You smile and tell me to move on
I smile back
but inside I'm seething.
What is so horrible that
I cannot hear it?
Why can I not be included?

You cannot understand what I am feeling
since you don't seem to need me.
Everyday you go on
and everyday you leave me even more behind.

I feel like a child
small, quiet and inconsequential
belittled, shushed and unnoticed.

For my benefit,
you say.
All for me
From my view:
I see Hitler, Stalin and Tito
Behind closed doors,
decisions are made.
Behind closed doors,
secrets are founded, lies are created
Behind closed doors
threats are stored and filed away
Behind closed doors
public opinions are cast aside.

But what if that door were to swing open?
There I would stand,
tiny and helpless...

I feel like a child
small, quiet and inconsequential
belittled, shushed and unnoticed.
Powerless, cast off and alone
I am a child
listening from behind closed doors