Better Luck Next Time Poem by michael spangenberg

A pianist from Normandy recently inherited a house
From a deceased relative, only to discover her newly
Acquired home was actually a secret gold depository.

Throughout the house, she found a total of 220 lbs
(3208.33 Troy oz.) of gold coins and bars
Totaling $3.7 million.

The French musician was in the process of
Preparing furniture for sale when she
Stumbled upon part of the horde - pas merde!

A local auctioneer who had visited the home
In order to appraise the furniture confirmed
5,000 gold pieces and 37 ingots of 13 kilos.

The golden contents were extremely
Well hidden and scattered throughout
The rest of the residence.

The first stash was a tin box of coins
Which had been screwed to the underside
Of a piece of Louis Quatorze furniture.

Like breadcrumbs leading the way home, Mrs. Steinway
Continued finding gold coins in places like boxes to
Hold whiskey bottles, under piles of linen, in the bathroom.

Everywhere, eventually, the modern day Conquistador
Stumbled upon the mother lode: 2 - 12 kilo gold bars
That's 386 Troy ounces each-OMG I'm rich!

After the gold dust settled, the newly minted millionaire
Was able to locate the certificates of authenticity within
The dead relative's estate papers, and sell it to various buyers.

Beginner's luck - this story of good fortune doesn't end a
As happily as she would like; Along with death comes taxes
Government has been hitting with a 75.83% inheritance tax.

Along with charging her 3 years of back taxes
Because her deceased relative failed to declare the gold
The pianist ended up with a fiscal debt of €1 million - merde!

Footnote - Poetic variation of Tyler Durden's: Death, gold and taxes, in: ZeroHedge, December 2,2016.