Blank Sheet Of Paper Poem by Kevin Carney
Blank Sheet Of Paper
I look at the blank sheet of paper…
Staring deep into the pure white.
I went to write the words,
which needed to be said.
Looking into the thin air,
so unsure of what needs to be said.
So unsure I am if this is ever going to start.
I definitely know how this is going to end.
I don’t know what to believe…
The music plays silently in the background…
A tears rolls slowly down my cheek.
Such a melancholy song it is…
I thought I knew you, so sure I was.
Only to find out how wrong I was.
Sitting here I write this for you…
Maybe I need to do this to gain back a little of my sanity.
It seems I need to regain my dignity.
I just don’t know how to start…
So long ago or at least that how it seems…
Through the visions of the night..
The darkness comes.
The fog of sadness when reality came…
Living through the day, wondering what would be next.
The pressure within, just the need of wanting you…
Your silence is killing me, not knowing where I should be.
I did what I had to, right or wrong…
It was always done for you
the reasons were always there.
Although I never told you what they were.
I always figure you were smart enough to figure it out.
I should have not waited till tomorrow.
Babe I should have held you so tightly…
Never to let you go, what a fool I think.
Maybe I shouldn’t talk about it….
You’re the only one who would know it’s about you…
So sad it was that I thought
what was real and what fantasy…was.
So mistaken I must have been, it was all blinded by love.
As a fool would see…
You were my angel, I wanted to believe…
The words you spoke could never be undone…
So soft so lyrical, it was almost music to my ears.
At least that you led me to think.
So mistaken was I, it was all for nothing….
Leaving me to fall to pieces…
You poem wanders and it sound like it has got lost in its presentation. Your opening is grand, the turning point in the poem is scattered and the closure never brings the sheet of paper to the light. Opening have grab the reader. This you do well. the turning point in a poem needs to shift which you do far to early in the poem. and the closure never combines the opening the turning into a new concept at all. So the literary form wanders and has no direction. And the conclusion is not about paper at all. So you lose this reader in all your emotion without leaving an epiphany for the reader to dwell upon internally. You have the beginnings of a really great poem but it lost at the moment. It still needs a lot of work in my opinion. spontaneity and emotions alone do not make a poem a poem. Poetry has 3 major characteristics no matter where it is written as heightened language.1. music,2. metaphor,3. form. The simplest literary form has 3 parts.1. an opening to bring the reader into the subject at hand.2. a turning point or shift to create climax in the reader.3. closure which brings the opening and the turning, shift— into a single new concept which ends the thought on the subject. My suggestion here: ride the metaphor of the paper as long as you can about the emotions you feel. Then when you shift to music as loss in comparison; let it be near the end of the poem. Then bring the loss into paper and music together in your ending. JUST a thought. A poet friend// RH Peat
It seems I need to regain my dignity after falling into broken love, that's sober hope but sometimes our heart not in the same boat of mind. Decision about feeling is the most complicated yet always make us smile before cry. Let un-true love gone and gain your happiness again. Well done.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/18/2024 8:49:52 PM # 1.0.0.1119
this is really deep i know exactly what you mean sitting there trying to find a way to pit your feelings together but it seems that all you can think of doesn't do your heart justice.