Blessed Poem by Jess Lederman

Blessed are they who
have not seen and yet
believe.

Well, I know You are with me,
and you, darling, more than a ghost,
and you, my unexpected friend.

I believe
in life as real as dreams,
as the butterfly’s dream.

‘You’re getting smaller, ’ I said,
and you laughed,
but it was true.

Smaller and smaller.

Please stop it —
Here are two of us gathered together,
aren’t these supposed to be the
answered prayers?

Smaller and smaller,
till I could hold you in the
palm of my hand.

Till I couldn’t hold you,
till I turned away one time,
looked back
and you were gone.

You might have floated off,
borne on a puff of air.
It must have been the Holy Spirit,
His breath like a child’s,
like a lover’s,
the smell of jasmine,
cinnamon, and clove.

Like the ocean,
Like the scent
at the small of your back,
or the taste of you
in the sweet softness of the
inside of your thigh.

And just before,
you’d said something
I didn’t understand.
I could hardly hear your voice,
you were so small,
and you barely breathed the words
(jasmine, cinnamon, and clove) .

You said, you didn’t want me
to be lonely,
and that hurt
like a fist in the face,
because I didn’t understand
you were leaving me
a gift.

I understand now.

Blessed are they who
have not seen and yet
believe.

Yes, I know You are with me,
and you, darling, more than a ghost,
and you, my unexpected friend,

even if you are silent
as the night.