Blunderdog Poem by Randy Johnson

(This is a fictional poem)

Two years ago I bought a dog that can talk and fly.
If I said that he's intelligent, I would be telling a lie.
As he flies through the sky, he shits on people's heads.
They beat the crap out of me and I wish that I was dead.
He always comes home filthy, I wish he would be cleaner.
He got a lot of dogs pregnant so I had to cut off his wiener.
My dog tries to be a superhero whenever he sees a crime.
The criminals put a bullet in his ass each and every time.
He's a loveable canine but sadly he has the intelligence of a log.
You'd better carry an umbrella because here comes Blunderdog.