Borneo Josephine Poem by Robert Pettit

Years ago, I had a college roommate named Herbie.
His uncle was anthropologist Leonard Kirby
who was reported missing when the plane he had flown,
crashed in the Borneo jungle at a spot unknown.
Herbie had insisted his uncle was still alive;
despite what was declared on the news program at five.
Dr. Kirby was an excellent pilot to fly.
Herbie said there’s no way his uncle went down to die.

When the spring break began, Herbie would sell his Hummer,
and got enough money for a trip in the summer.
He asked me to join him on his jaunt to Borneo.
I responded with “Yes, I would really like to go!
Deep in the jungle is where Dr. Kirby appeared.
Herbie recognized him despite his very long beard.

Herb told Dr. Kirby “Uncle Leonard, can’t you see?
I’m your great nephew Herbert; don’t you recognize me?
The old man answered “Yes nephew, don’t be so sappy!
I’ve found a wife and a brand new life, I’m quite happy! ”
We were puzzled until we saw this monstrosity;
a huge native woman standing at seven feet three.
Dr. Kirby said “Boys, this is my wife Josephine;
she’s the most wonderful woman I have ever seen!
I’m so glad I found her because she’s so big and strong;
as long as she stays with me, I can never go wrong!
Once she was bitten by a tiger in an attack;
it only made her angry, so she bit him right back.
And here’s the strangest thing that can never be denied:
We heard only two days later that poor tiger died!
No boys, I’m not going back and leave this happiness;
because I owe too much in tax to the IRS.
To me, this jungle is just like heaven on the earth.
If I go back home, they might send me to Leavenworth!
So tell the whole family for me I said hello.
Don’t miss the last flight out of here, so you’d better go!