Brain Lying Sideways Poem by Jesse Ellsbury

My mind is a wasteland where words don’t connect,
a junkyard of images where things that used to exist
lie broken,
heaps of car engines and words unspoken,
their sputtered syllables whispering sand,
I love you beyond words and do as you command
but the drive is gone,
horsepower spawned
a broken collapse
on a dead highway,
my brain lying sideways.

Never doubt that my love is absolute,
whether or not I have words to compute
phrases to remind you that you’re not forgotten,
it’s not your fault that my brain has gone rotten
through lying misused.
I became who I am by being abused
and am stuck with compassion that I don’t deserve,
I’m trying too hard and just end up confused,
the only thing pure is the love that used to drop
in phrases from passion’s treetop
and it still does, heavier than before,
I can’t pick it up in the midst of a war
where no one dies but nothing's secure
but your love.

When I’m not with you I’m unbelievably bored
and yearn for your touch,
knowing that words just can’t be enough
anymore.