Breaking Down And Breaking Up Poem by Scarred Unknown

Breaking down is becoming constant
Leaving me alone
Inside a darkened hole

Breaking down is becoming a normal thing
When all I’m doing is sitting
And thinking
Feeling alone
Breaking down

Now
What is the point?
In living
All I feel is pain
Jealousy
Hate
Frustration
Hearing complaints

And time without you
Makes me sick
Feeling like I’m dead
Can’t go on without you
Next to me beside my bed

But
I don’t wanna be with you!
I don’t wanna fight again and again
I don’t wanna hear you yell
I don’t wanna face you
And your guilt trips
I can’t handle your baggage
Can’t carry your load

But I don’t wanna be without you
I can’t stand feeling like this
Your not here!
But I don’t want you to be
I don’t want you with her
Seeing you just talking
Makes me ill
Like I wish to kill

I’m so sick of this
I can’t be your friend
But I don’t wanna be enemies

Why do you do this?
Yes!
I’m blaming you for this
You didn’t have to do what you did

Leaving me like that
You weren’t supposed to go
Skip… I miss you
Please come back

No no I don’t mean him!
God Dam* I’m sick of this!
NO! NO! NO!
THIS ISN’T ABOUT HIM
IT’S ABOUT YOU AND ME
IT’S ABOUT YOU AND I
ME AND YOU
DON’T YOU DO THIS TO ME
JAKE

The way you make me feel
It isn’t fair
You make me happy
Then you just dropp me
Let go
Sending me to the ground
Crashing down
I can’t help it
I try to stand back up
After this…

Yes I know it was my choice
I ended it …
Does that mean I have to be happy?
No it doesn’t
I’m not
I’m worse
Am I?
No I’m better….
Am I?

I can’t even tell
If I’m happy or not
I don’t know
All I know
Is I miss you
But I don’t wanna be with you
I want you there
But not here
I don’t want to see you with her
But not with me

I guess I’m selfish
Like you say
But I’m not am I?
I don’t care about myself
You said so yourself
All I do is think of others
But you say it like that’s bad

Is it?
You sounded so sick of it
Every time you mentioned it
Tired out like old news
Was I that bad?
Not caring for myself?
And if I was
How do you call me selfish
Now that it’s over
Because for once
ONCE in my life
I did something
FOR ME?
So I’m too other worry
But now I’m selfish

I am so confused
I miss you
I loved you
I hated you
I wanted you
I need you

You will never read this
But I will always wish you did
But it’s my choice
Because I will never show you
Or tell you
That I wrote it…
I’ll always wish you did
But I won’t allow you to see it