Bureaucracy Poem by Claude H Oliver II

Hello, what’s your name?
John Doe.
How can I help you?
I called to make a status change.
You are listed as deceased.
Someone forgot to tell me.
According to our records, you are dead.
Who said I was dead?
That source is confidential.
Well, how can I change this?
You can’t. Dead people can’t change records.
But I am alive.
You can’t be, as we are not allowed to talk to dead people.
Can I talk to your supervisor?
My supervisor does not talk to dead people.
May I come to the office?
Only if you are not dead.
Can I bring someone to vouch for me?
Only if that person is alive.
Good-bye.

Alice in Wonderland is sane compared to this.