But It Doesn'T Matter Now Poem by Bianca Haw

I watch every breath that she takes
every move that she makes, I am a mere step behind
I watch her and my heart aches,
aches for the future that could be mine.
I see the world around me
but it doesn't matter now

Those transgressors call themselves role models?
From Bill Clinton, John Profumo and Petraeus,
down to President Nixon and Big Brother,
I call them malefactors, simply sinners.

My tears of despair can do nothing
for the millions of Jews, slaughtered with the aid of tear gas
There was nothing I could do
to right that wrongs of the past.

When the war against the Zimbabweans began,
I sat back like an inessential rich stripling,
Uncaring to the pain, suffering and torment
lest it should arrive outside my front door.

But she made me see
I dreamt each night, of her face.
Her voice telling me to look closer
The power of her compulsion so strong,
I saw the world for the first time
But it doesn't matter now

They say that there are three sides to every story
Mine, theirs and the Truth
But nothing is safe anymore,
my side has become irrelevant and no longer private

They watch from the telescreens,
they listen to every uttered word
Our language has changed,
smaller than ever and decreasing every year.

We are encouraged to not speak up,
our opinions are considered distasteful
The input of the public is inconsequential,
Only the leader's facts are recorded.

I know that this is not safe,
my love is not approved, her interests are unknown.
I feel her slipping away
and slowly I feel myself stop being
My whole world is shifting
But it doesn't matter now

Where has my purpose in life gone?
Everyday I go to work
then I go home and watch the telescreen,
sleep at the appointed hour, but it never comes

I speak to no one else
My life is now a routine:
Never broken, a perfect world
In Utopia there is not a hair out of place

When I walk, I stare straight ahead
I speak only when spoken to
I think of life, there is no future
Why would we want to rebel?

I don't see her anymore
She is hidden from my sight
Behind his house is a secret place
and there she stays
I don't try to understand it,
it doesn't matter now

The wall was high;
made of steel and flame
Guarded by the fear and the fire
and the guns that remain

Nothing can be heard in this Dystopia,
only one truth remains
Mine was lost in the abyss of nonenies
and theirs had overridden any that survived

They took me to that place,
their goal of peace and order
The world is sleeping now
and of course, there was nothing to be heard at all

A single, translucent tear slips from my eye
I feel it run down my cheek
I taste the salt on my lips
and yet I do nothing
I no longer exist
I don't remember how I got to this point

My memories are blank
I cry tears for unknown reasons
But it doesn't matter now
It's over anyhow
They tell the world that its sleeping
But as the night came round
I heard it slowly sound
It wasn't roaring,
it was weeping...