'' Cameron The Great Space Ranger, Sorry Cadet '' Poem by Bri Mar

Billions of pounds worth of spy planes destroyed,
While we're still fighting a war,
Of intelligence our government must be devoid,
It's time we asked them what for.

We have aircraft carriers without any planes,
It just doesn't make any sense,
Do our ministers in office have an ounce of brains?
Can they possibly be so dense?

Paying off our forces on whom we depend,
Is utterly and totally mad,
If we were attacked we could no longer defend,
What happened to, ‘'we need you comrade''

But wait for it they've called in the M.I.5,
They've came up with a dastardly plan,
To keep our enemies at bay and all of us alive,
They've hired the invisible man.

Our enemies won't know where our forces are,
From now on they can no longer be seen,
They can travel wide and venture far,
Even our enemies can't tell where they've been.

We can't pay them wages as they've all disappeared,
That'll save our treasury a bomb,
It's to saving money our coalition's endeared,
They can herald this with so much aplomb.

If any of them are killed they will never be missed,
As we won't know where or how,
As far as governments concerned they do not exist,
Not really that different from now.

Before you all say this can't possibly be true,
Our duties we will never shirk,
We can proudly announce, let the battle ensue,
Our new commander is James T. Kirk.

He will lead from the front we just cannot lose,
Don't you dare say that we're all potty,
We must tell you the truth no it's not a ruse,
The Captain's joined by Spock and Scotty.

The planes on our carriers have a cloaking device,
Nobody can see if they're there,
To our foes they'll make it clear and concise,
We're still dangerous so you'd better beware.

We've got photon torpedoes to blow you apart,
Phasers, which vaporise all life,
Trilithium resin to tear out your heart,
Disruptors which cause all sorts of strife.

Our enemies run scared now, new technology rules,
You've put the ‘'GREAT'' back into Great Britain,
No more need to suffer the fools,
In our history books is where this will be written.

We're sorry for doubting you Cameron and Clegg,
Our defence is up there with the best,
For surrender or mercy we'll not need to beg,
If attacked we will now pass the test.

With Kirk at the helm you have shown your resolve,
Our country's no longer in danger, you bet,
From Prime Minister to hero you will evolve, you are,

‘' Cameron, the great Space Ranger '' Sorry Cadet ''