[cancer] Poem by Empath In flames

The night was long,
I was unaware.
My body had deceived me with a polluted curse..
Tainted cells, the immaturity of those,
Created guilt for my inexperienced demise.
Confusion eroded,
As reality progressed.
The nightmare exists.
It's buried within.
Bias to foes,
I questioned faith,
Even by life line,
No signal of redemption.
Nothing…..
Silence….

Alone in a hospital bed,
awoken for tests.
They analysed me,
They tested on me….
Like I was there personal lab rat.
Prodded with needles,
At studies by peers.
A noble degree, but to who's cost?

The machine was my companion.
It never left my side.
It never judged my anger....
The Chemo left my suffering deep.
Like peroxide for the body.
It burnt, while it seeped
The Meds were helping,
but left me soggy, Dirty & useless…
How could I look attractive?
When I feel like the dead?

Skinner I became, Food made me sick.
My Beautiful hair was
Exquisitely thick.
The smell….
I can still remember that smell....

13 people died around me that year,
Ones I talked to.
Ones I shared this ambiguous state.
Yet I survived…..
What makes you think, this is what I wanted?
What makes you think this life I have now,
Is better than the experience I adopted
Alone in the Hospital
With my strength as the cure.

~Empath~