Carnival Poem by Thoughts of a Single Man

Come one, come all, step right up
and see the spectacle of one man's life here under the big top
were tears drop in invisible excess
from the open skies of hopes and lies like a cascade of falling rain
as the seats fill with an audience of strangers old and new
I walk these streets that lead me here once again
like the corridors of my mind
memories left behind like fragments of shattered glass
wedged underfoot
lacerations made with each step
as I wade through the depths of a shattered past
so many participants in the circus of my life
performers all
taking the titles of the common verse such as friend, lover, and wife
daggers flung at my unsuspecting spine by the thrower of the knife
the ones who wield the sharpest blades
made the fearless man afraid
like the snake that slithers in the long grass
hidden in the summer shade
leaving the deepest wounds
the kind that never heal and stays with you
as it lays with you in your bed
echoes in your head
condemning the trusting aspect born of the womb
sealed deep in tomb of cocooned regret
the bearded woman hiding behind her whiskers of the charade
what filthy games she played
secretly desiring any and all who would partake n her lusting parade
the genders not mattered and not remembered
as she was lost in a rancid sea of moving flesh
where members of manhood where the only thing to her that made sense
the strongman silent and bold
never showing the effects of the blistering sun or the frigid cold
now old beyond his years for he never knew his own identity
just the label given to him by society
so he died a little more each day
for he refused to show pain or shed tears
the tight rope walker dancing on the line
between the arc of the pendulum,
love and hate, destiny and fate, only caring for themselves
walking somewhere underneath heaven
yet perched precariously over the pit of a beckoning hell
such stories they could tell
the animal trainer conducting displays of romantic loyalty
as if they were royalty
only seen by how many they can dominate
yet having no dominion over themselves
for those who tame others as savage beasts
strike the whip with an arm that extends from an empty shell
and what of the jesters who prance in the shining masks
concealing their numbing expression
dealing with lost loves and friends
all consumed and marooned in succession
feeding off the plate of another's misery with no questions asked
unaware of their victims seething breathing wrath
and then there is me the sad clown
always there to boost the spirits of the audience
leaving his heart upon the empty stage
filling yet another empty page
my blood soaks the empty page
but beneath the makeup is no grin just the frown
held in the decibels of a scream that makes no sound
how profound
tell me is the ringmaster me of the Lord above me
my actions, my passion, or my broken glass of thirsting love
no answers prevail
just another seat on the merry-go-round
stop this ride, let me off, let me move on before all is lost
for I must heal myself and reach this world or burn it to ash
for pain and sorrow flee from the open doors of a new tomorrow
and time passes so fast
a tale seldom heard but so often told
as I am sentenced to ride this lonely circle of wonder
ascending and descending on the Ferris wheel that knows no end
perhaps I shall always remain here, just a stain here,
a flickering dying flame here
trapped in the nightmare that exceeds the dream
performing for you all
until the last curtain call and the pen finally falls
and sets me free from this circus of lost souls