Celibacy's Inspiration Poem by Raj Dronamraju

You're coarse and you're foul
And I saw you reach down between your toes and pull out lint
And I knew that any interaction with your world would leave me feeling both disappointed and superior

When I ran into you six months later
You showed me who had been added to the list
With an insistence on making me your confidant that was inappropriate

You just like the attention given by having many boyfriends
Rows and rows of turn-on memories
You're coarse and you're foul
And you have great big red hands

Like a callow young suitor unaware of the oily words coming out of his mouth
Slapping on the airs of civilized procreator
Calculated fakery that does not depend on the subject's belief

You're foul and you've failed
All men who knew you were converted to celibacy
Being with you made them want to disinfect their bodies with rubbing alcohol