Charming Bill Poem by Donal Mahoney

When she sees him in the morning he's
all foamed up and in the mirror shaving
so she stands behind him, saying,
"Bill, your father was a ladies' man-
that's why you have this way with women.
Deirdre, you kissed once, light on the lips.
Bridget, ah, the melon of her hips
you kept inviolate, whole, entire.
But since your father was a ladies' man,
you will be a priest instead.
You will never fill a woman,
never watch her swell,
and she will be the better for it,
won't she, Charming Bill."