China Doll Poem by Leah Ayliffe

There's no one to blame, you understand?
When I neglected to anticipate how much I would come to adore you,
Something made me awake to a world that was real.
That's it, my destruction,
How dare I play myself a star in reality?
I'm my own ruin,
Destroying bubble gum fun and fame
Creating cotton candy heartbreak out of sugar.
I was your pretty china doll,
too willingly I let myself fall -
with what grace did I land on concrete floors
only to remain pieced together with
a slight crack.
It's not for you to know about,
It was never gonna be about that.
But I am still in love with the future
and those things we dared to think about.
Can't forget about our hope.
A vision so divine and on the open road
Into the sunset of paradise.
I got used to be being queen over my own love
Void of emotion, an easy way to get down to life.
Then unlike anything before
I was hit by a bullet pulled from my own gun.
It's too late now, devious smile, I say let's get it on.
Woe is me; pour another glass of wine kid
I need to bleed out the world I imagined I'd be living in.
Put on that good old rock and roll
And dance until I can't see anymore
Through the tears that never come
‘cause you know I'm not one to come undone.
I'm crazy to the core, and insanity's got me laughing now,
Got me forgiving my dreams laying on the floor.
I remember vaguely how I never needed anyone.
Yes, this thing that's you and me was a thrill for some time,
But it's time to close the minor crack in the gate before it gets swung open.
Lock it up good and don't tell me where you hide the key.
Blue sky, you're like happiness to me on a winter day.
Blue heart of mine, you're still my favourite girl alive, no matter how insane.
I am in love with all of the personalities I play, like all the actors on the street.
My own true love forever and so,
My one true love I'll stay.