Choke Back The Bottle Poem by Silence Dogood

I lost all my innocence.
When I was eight.
No child now.
Because of rape.
-
Here is my Valium my angel of hope.
Crystal droplets bring no more pain.
It's here in my peace and tranquilty.
That I face my sorrows bane.

My mom doesn't care.
And my dad is long gone.
So I live in the pills.
Thinking what went wrong?

A bottle of Valium is all I need.
To shut out the noises I hear.
A man; a stranger in my mothers bed.
Makes me want to dissapear.

And when the noises end.
I am sentenced to hell.
My personal nightmare.
That no words can tell.

So I grab the pills and pop some more.
Go into a place where no pain can be.
Pretend that tommorow will be better.
And pray that theres hope for me.

Nothing exist in my world.
No happieness no joy.
No daddy or mommy.
For this little boy.

Now here are the painkillers that can help.
Make me forget all that lays inside.
Going into a darkness that begs me to come.
And it's here in the dark that I hide.

When the man came back.
Who took the child away.
I shot him in the head.
Said thanks for this day.

No meds in prison can make me forget.
No pillls to relieve the past.
Nothing to make me feel any better.
No pills to remember the laugh.

I wasted my years.
In a small prison cell.
Only to leave.
And return to my hell.

Here is my valium my last kiss goodbye.
Choke back the bottle of tears.
Fill myself to the brim with meds.
And wait to dissapear.
-
I lost all my innocence.
When I was eight.
No child now.
Because of rape.