Choosing A Pet Poem by Tom Billsborough

Choosing A Pet

Rating: 3.5


I need a new pet but I'm at a loss.
You can't count the cat.
He's no pet. He's the boss.

An Elephant might do.
I could nick one from the Zoo.
I'm sure they wouldn't mind
If they find they're one behind
They must have a dozen or two.

I could take it to the pub
For some tasty grub
And maybe a few gallons of beer
I'd cry; 'Fill your trunk, my dear.'
But then I checked on Google. Zounds
They eat a hundred pounds
Of veg. each day! That's more
Even than a hungry teenager!

Better try another option.
For my new adoption.
Something with a lovely smile..
Of course, a crocodile!
It would love my great wide pond
And the jungle reaching out beyond.
I could brush her little teeth
Stroke her jaw line just beneath..
And put a pretty ribbon on her snout.
But then I have a doubt.

What would she have to eat?
What is her favourite treat?
An Antelope or two..
From the local Zoo...?
Why take the risk of being caught
With neighbours easily sought.
His wife would shed a tear
If old Ron over there
Were suddenly to disappear!
Or maybe not. From what she said,
He's pretty well half dead,
Already, So we'd be doing her a favour,
And a fat treat for you, Clarissa.

What's that you say, young Purry?
Something nice and furry?
What, like that shrew you're playing with
Just like a toy..A toy A toy
Oh boy why didn't I think of that solution.
A Kangaroo or stuffed hippo
To decorate my patio.
And it would cost me zilch in food
In prosecutions, or being sued
By widows of departed neighbours
Thanks, Purry, for another of your favours!

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Bri Edwards 15 October 2016

i laughed at this line: With neighbours easily sought.............thought i'd maybe put................hmm? i don't know. i want to change it somehow! but everyone should get the idea. and maybe it is just me, or just that i don't speak 'british'? is Clarissa Ron's wife, or is she the crocodile? ? favorite stanza so far: Better try another option. For my new adoption. Something with a lovely smile.. Of course, a crocodile! It would love my great wide pond And the jungle reaching out beyond. I could brush her little teeth Stroke her jaw line just beneath.. And put a pretty ribbon on her snout. But then I have a doubt.....................and, ..........GREAT RHYMING! ! ! :) your cat (?) sounds pretty indispensable! to MyPoemList! ! bri :)

0 0 Reply
Valsa George 02 July 2016

Quite an amusing write....! Finally you have decided on something that will save you a lot of trouble and money! ! Enjoyed reading this!

0 1 Reply
Tom Billsborough 02 July 2016

But of course I still think wistfully of Clarissa's lovely smile. Ah! Tom

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Tom Billsborough

Tom Billsborough

Preston Lancashire England
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