Concussions For Jesus Poem by Professor Poetry Hound

You know how when some people have
head injuries it changes their personalities?
Like sometimes they have recurring
hallucinations or weird thoughts. So I was
thinking we should impose mandatory
concussions for non-Christians. It just might
knock some sense into them about our Lord
Jesus. Hopefully, they’ll start having visions
and start believing Jesus is talking to them.
You’d probably want to accompany the
concussions with some biblically-biased
counseling so that when the non-Christians
complain about hallucinations or other
symptoms, you could say, “That’s Jesus
communicating with you, ” or “Jesus
WANTS you to have blurred vision.” For
the ones who remain resistant, repeated
concussions may be in order.