Conflict And Fear Poem by Kevin Carney

I am not your knight in shining armour.
I can never be the protector of your realm.
No oath I swear to the allegiance of your soul.
Don’t take me for the pure gentlemen you think I am.

Although I appear to be your light of hope.
I can be the darkness of your dreams.
You look for love in all the wrong places….
You fall on my shoulder; you just want to be consoled.

I listened to your heartbreaks.
Looking into your eyes, in need of such a friend.
There is a problem I am starting to have…
It’s you, my girl, maybe because you are there.

I don’t think I can take it any more.
You’re so vulnerable, so lost, so out of control.
No matter what I try to do…
I keep on coming back to you…

Friendship started for all the right reasons.
So strong and unwavering I used to be.
Now its girl, feelings for you….
Not so sure how to tread on this.

Trust you have, so afraid I am to break.
Can I be the perfect friend?
You have not had a chance to heal, from your last affair.
You look to me for help and comfort…

I can’t do this anymore.
It’s you, I realize, that has stolen my heart.
Fallen I have become, why do I feel so guilty?
Maybe it’s my chance; it could be my own destruction.

I am so much better than this…
You can deserve better than I could give.
Maybe I should distance myself from your problems day to day.
Over and over I play this in my head.

Could we still be friends?
Can we take that step farther and become lovers?
Something inside me fills with excitement it doesn’t matter if it’s...
At your best or your worst, it still scares me to death.

Every day I see you, I work myself one more step towards the edge.
I am afraid I will take that step that takes me over the edge.
If I run that chance, what will happen in the end?
Such a stake I have in you, I am so worried about you.

Can I spring this all on you at this time?
Maybe I can hold a little longer.
I am so unsure where this might end…
Still you hint that you are aware.

It should not feel like this, it’s so unfair.
I want to do the right thing, if I knew what it was.
I want to be your lover, to hold you in my arms.
Just to lie beside you and whisper to you my tender thoughts...

Is there a chance that this will work out?
So afraid I am to become your lover.
If this happens, will we loose in the end?
If we become lovers, as friends what will we loose?