Corpus Delicti Poem by David Whalen

More germs are transferred
While shaking hands
Than are transferred during
Heavy passionate kissing

So if you don’t grab the hand
Of The next person you meet
And just kiss them instead,
just think of all the germs you’ll be missing

On average, women say
seven thousand words every day
while two thousand words
most men utter

That could be because
Women rarely pause
While most men’s minds
Are most oft in the gutter

The human eye blinks about
Twenty nine times a minute
That’s if your talking to
Your everyday schnook

Women blink about Four times a minute
When reading their average book
A man’s blinks can slow to one blink in ten minutes
While giving playboy a long leering look

There are approximately 550 hairs in one eyebrow
Humans lose 40-100 strands of hair each day
Men usually have full eyebrows and eyelashes
While their heads look like eggs in an unhairy way

The jawbone is the hardest bone in your body
the tongue is the muscle that’s the strongest
The average person spends 1/3 of their lifetime sleeping
And teenagers usually sleep the longest

A person in their lifetime will drink 16,000 gallons of water
While 10,000 gallons of saliva will go down
It only takes 17 muscles to make up a smile
While it takes 43 muscles to frown

In a lifetime the average person sheds 40 lbs of skin
100 mph plus is the speed of a sneeze
And your liver performs 500 functions within
Yet no one has yet timed the speed of a wheeze

The Human brain is composed of 75% liquid
The average man consumes 10 liters of alcohol a year
That’s why the average man is stupid and insipid
Because the other 25% is composed of beer

Humans share 98% of their DNA with monkeys
It takes chimps and us six months to grow nails
And if that comparison makes you feel kind’a funky
We also share 70% of our DNA with snails

The human brain uses 20% of the bodies energy
But is only 2% of the body’s weight
There’s a few more interesting parts of the human anatomy
But the facts about them are too titillating to relate