Could Of - Would Of - Should Of Poem by CHARMAINE SIMPSON

What will it take for you to love me again?
I offer you my heart and soul completely.
Is this not enough for you?
Do you see how much this is hurting me?
Maybe that is what you want me to feel?
So that I can feel some of the hurt I once gave to you?
It is working – I am hurting
I have a pain inside my heart that burns like a hot blade
Slowly slicing at me from the inside trying to escape.
I feel the hollow empty cavity of loss and rejection
As it rises into my chest taking my breath away,
Then sinks into the pit of my stomach,
With a hollow - very heavy weight.

I see you and can not tell you
All of the things I need to say
Instead we exchange empty words
My mind spins faster with all of the thoughts
And all of my feelings that belong to you
With all of the emotions I need to give to you
But I can’t -
I can’t seem to find the strength and the courage
To allow it all to escape from inside
So I listen to you speak
Not hearing anything you say
Just watching your mouth move
I am lost dreaming
Dreaming of what could have been
What would have been?
What should have been?



26th May 2006